20 July 2008

Go Nest young man

Its not there. I looked, just now. There is no mention of 'nesting' in our Pregnancy Bible. Oh, wait-there it is; a small paragraph on page 211. 211? That is where the editors of this 'Bible' choose to put such a key symptom of late-stage pregnancy? It is sandwiched between paragraphs on things I would NEVER voluntarily read about-topics that are only appropriate when in context of pregnancy and even then...yikes. 4 weeks left in Guthe baby incubation, 3rd edition and this lovely feature called 'nesting' showed up this week. After weathering 7 days of the question and answer for all things pertaining to baby preparation storm, I chose to offer input. My initial response was to point out that the minimal likelihood of the baby suddenly falling out and having the emotional awareness to be eternally scarred because its pack&play was unassembled in the corner of our bedroom-or its freshly purchased bumper pad was not steam pressed and hanging in its crib (still occupied by its brother)-or that the perfect blankets were still on ebay instead of on Mommy's hip in a blanket holster, ready for high noon. I thought better of pointing these things out. Instead I offered a 'sensitive' comment (shocking i know) along the lines of 'I'm excited about the baby being here but ready to stop talking about this baby stuff.'

Today is my 7th anniversary of my marriage to Arin. The first 2 or 3 years were super hard for me because I was struggling to understand the purpose of marriage. I didn't understand why conflict was present when I understood the bill of sale to be a state of ethereal bliss. I have grown to understand that marriage provides individuals with a help mate, a best friend fully committed to working together. The work is not toward some matrimonial nirvana, rather the work is toward that end for which we are all created, Holiness-unity with God. Arin has shown me acceptance and love I never imagined. She has seen the ugliest, most insensitive parts of me (see story above) and not been afraid or repulsed to the point that she has given up on me. She has been the constant support, the committed mirror of truth, calling my ugliness what it is and staying there with me because that is her character. To me, she is the embodiment of true love. This morning as she was feeding breakfast to our little birds, I looked at her and realized my love for her FAR surpasses what it was that hot Florida day 7 years ago. It is proven, tested. It is the real thing. (author's note: i don't really remember that day 7 years ago anyway-i was petrified and had a stupid smile painted on because i didn't know what else to do).

This weekend i engaged in the pre-birthing ritual called 'nesting.' I did it as a man more free, more aware of my brokenness, more committed to having it fixed, and more enraptured with love for my wife than ever. Happy 7, Love!

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