22 August 2012

big day

i seriously LOVE this quote about parenting ::
"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body" - Elizabeth Stone

Never is this more true than the morning of Kindergarten drop off.
I wish I could say that with the second child it's easier.
It's almost worse.
Cause they don't know what they're walking into....but you do.

As believers, there is never a more trusting moment and illustration that we are not in control than the slow release of children as they go off to school.

there were moments this summer, even yesterday that I longed for quiet and uninterrupted silence in the middle of meltdowns and chaos of ::
'she took my train'
'he pulled my hair'
 'give it back'
'i don't want to eat this'
'you're not my mommy anymore' : a favorite saying of tiny #3.

i even had a meltdown and sobbed after loading them in the car headed to the pool.
i was having pangs of guilt for wanting to run to the nearest forest and hide
and overwhelmed with how fast its going.

so while i still will referee and fix and mend and wipe and hold.
mothering is changing around me.
a sweet reminder that they're borrowed.
i am stewarding a gift.
and those annoying moments where i want to run are supposed to be teaching moments.
we get it right..some of the time.

Liam starts Kindergarten.
Lillian starts Second Grade.

God's timing has blessed my tinys by allowing us to have closure last year and start a new school year here in Fort Mill. Lillian has more awareness of this than Liam. He's just excited about a new school-neighborhood buddy!

we're soaking it in : cause its blurring by
we walk to school . another amazing blessing.
it was a great chance for us to have some sweet out of our environment moments and prepare their hearts for the day.

i held it together after dropping Liam off until I spotted a friend in tears.
i squeeze Lillian's hand.
took a deep breath.
i can do this.
the letting go.
the growing up part.
its part of it.
it will always be hard.

04 August 2012


well, i've taken a nice 5 month hiatus from blogging.
one word : stress

this last year-plus has been such a sweet rich tough place of trust and waiting for us.
when you walk through seasons of wait time warps.
not to mention we've had a baby in this last year.
so is there such a thing as double-warp; cause i've been in it!!!

the next 10 days will bring to fruition something we've prayed for...for almost 536 days!
yah, right. that's insane.

on the morning of august 14th we will close on our spruell street home
officially handing it over to its new wonderful owners!

the other half of the story is still being woven together.
and no shortage of GOD in every small minuscule detail!

in late april we walked through a home on m. lane, in fort mill to rent.
we'd find out two weeks later if it was available.
i left devastated and discouraged.
having loved the house and longing for a close on the season of wait.
my sweet husband looked me in the eyes and said "trust"

10 days later :  we received an offer on our spruell street home.
we'd been on the market 14 months.
within an hour we had an email about a rental in fort mill. smack in the middle of the area we'd been praying for God to land us.

we called the m. lane owner; they had an offer as well.
so we signed a 4 month lease til sept 30th on a 3bdrm townhouse.
prayed God would make it clear where we needed to be by July 30th; so we were able to give our 60day notice.

i woke up on a sunday morning in late may as we were packing boxes and felt this urge to call the m. lane owner. she answered laughing saying she'd been looking for my name in her phone for days . . the offer had fallen thru, and were we still interested in renting?! i explained we were already committed.
hubs looked at me and said 'trust'

we made the move the first weekend in June to the townhouse.
half our stuff in storage.
i cried myself to sleep the first 3 nights we were here.
from exaustion. from the season of wondering & wait.

its been a fun summer of rubbing elbows with each other in a small space.
somehow i find all 4 tinys in my personal space more times than i can count each day!
tiny feet stepping on mine. raising my blood pressure.

the 3 big tinys share a bedroom. london shares a room with andy's desk.
where he works if she's not asleep.
we walk to the pool.
we walk to the gym.
we walk to the playground.
we walk to starbucks. its rough. (smile)

mid june. my phone rang. it was m. lane owner. they were selling the house. and it was a short sale.
were we interested. my heart stopped.
i scrambled. i cried. i stressed.
hubs grabbed my face and said 'trust'

on a hot afternoon in late june. with no ac. we walked around m. lane house.
youngest tiny was in a stroller; needing a diaper change, smelling up the living room.
3 big tinys were running circles in an empty. stale 97 degree house. screaming.
as the sign was going in the yard. we were signing an offer.

mid july.
i registered the 2 biggest tinys for school.
there are freezes on most fort mill schools.
their placement, wasn't up to us.
i laughed. like this entire season. i have come to wash my hands of worry. and trust.
trust that they would be placed in the school & classroom where they were supposed to be.

thursday july 19. we got a phone call.
the bank accepted our offer!!!!
i cried. laughed and still get chills thinking about it.

on july 28th
we gave our 60 day notice on leaving the townhouse.

today : august 4th
we got the two big tinys school assignments in the mail.
and our last mortgage statement for spruell street.
i am peaceful. thankful. overwhelmed with how detailed and precise God is.

the details on the m.lane house are still in the works.

we are headed towards a close sometime late this month or in early september. 
there is cause for worry. stress. tears. anxiety. 
it could still even fall apart.

but thankfully : i have walked a season where i know better.
and even on my best day couldn't have knit this provision together for the people i love most.
instead, i choose to trust.

trust a God's who so richly deserves every bit of accolade for this journey.
in my heart & in the life of my sweet family!