the pounding

so this isn't a fun, full of photos blog post....

this summer was really stressful to say the least. lots of change, possible change, curiosity, wonder, moments of crazed(hormonal)(pregnant) tearful conversations, then peace would settle, then we'd cycle back thru everything.....still leaving me hormonal and pregnant as we enter fall but more balanced in my expectations.

would love to know why it always comes back to that. i will speak for myself, but the roughest moments in my day or week are when i thought it was 'just supposed to be different'. there are no set rules or lists to follow, no one coming behind me to check my work, no demerit if i get it wrong, i say i have grace to fail, but do i really?

if you're a close friend then in the last year i am sure i have turned your ear about our dinner-time struggles...mostly with Liam. At one stage or another, no particular time or season the tinys LOVE to protest food. so we've gotten creative. blog post to follow on how!! but its beginning to change and even though they don't know it; we're winning, peace is slowly creeping back around our dinner table! :: well, let's be honest, a reasonable amount of peace that's possible with 3 tinys 6 1/2 and under...and a pregnant mama!!!

big(ger) stuff

Liam boy started school today!!

In the spring we were registered for one school..then thinking we were moving i pulled his application...well, we're still here.

so about a month ago i took a gamble and called a new preschool to see if there were any openings.....i was so surprised and grateful there was room!!

its a little bit of a different environment, still lots of fun and learning, a little more jesus and structure that I think will be great to get him prepared for Kindergarten next year (sniff).

he's only going 3 days this year, which i am really excited about...Lillian went 3 days the year before she started K. and in hindsight i am SO glad. her transition to 5 full days away was really hard last year. I am glad we had those extra days each week. its a HUGE jump to their time away . . and has flown by. and Liam is so genuinely excited about our being around when baby sister arrives!!

we are entering a really amazing stage with Liam...4yrs old is so much fun! our tinys are a bit crazy from 2 1/2 to 3 1/2; full of drama and intensity and passion. Its not that it dissipates when we cross the 3 1/2yr threshold...they are just better equipped to mange their ferocity!

i love this boy. i love his intensity and confidence in all his 4 yr old self. he's become quite the train-lover lately. he still wants to be a garbage man...but says he will take his trains to work with him. he told me a few weeks ago that when he grew up to be a garbage man he would stop by and pick up my trash and come in for lunch...and we would have peanut butter... i said that would be perfect!!

he was so proud of his new 'pack-pack' that his yaya bought him...

i was worried about how tiny would do today without Liam around...at his teacher meet and greet she pretty much waved good-bye...but she actually was great...she keeps talking about how she is gonna be helping with our new baby!!

love this boy and all his 'little-man-ness'.

full circle!

i know that every year they start school will feel like another huge milestone.

and i will cry. its that slow release of the 'faux' control i think i have...

its the baby steps of letting go and fully trusting God's got their back, and mine!

I am grateful i don't have to send her to college yet..or marry her off yet. that we are still considered 'new' at this. we really only have 6 1/2 years at this parenting gig....

our greatest challenge in parenting lately, well besides being insanely outnumbered, is having 3, while close together; in totally different emotional, physical developmental stages. while most of our 'physical' parenting years are behind us with Lillian...we have stepped full on into our 'emotional' phase of parenting her. still allowing her moments of safe reliance on us while beginning to figure out who she is on her own, asserting her independence, making decisions, trusting herself all while helping guide and shape her heart! i am convinced that we'll look back on the first handful of years as 'easy' compared to what lies ahead in helping our tiny's hearts navigate a crazy world.

she rides the bus home from school every day!! which has been so fun to watch her blond self bounce down the sidewalk towards us! so far we've had a great start to the year!!

watching our biggest girl head off for first grade allowed me a full circle life moment.

one i felt old.

like where has it gone?

i remember first grade...

how can i be married 10yrs and expecting our 4th baby...and those who've paved the way before us in this journey say...just hold tight....it only starts to go by faster.

for now, i am hitting pause. on this sweet face!!

Lucy's bday!!! 3yrs old!!

these eyes are so full of life.

i will never forget the nurse saying the moment she was born how amazing her eyes were. curious and serious and sensitive.

It's been a surprise to us as to how young, 3yrs old feels.

i remember with Lillian, 3 felt so grown up. but when there are two tinys in front of her you realize how full of baby she still is.

Lucy has this still small, sweet voice that somehow over the next year will start to sound more big-girl. she still says words wrong and calls her brother 'Mi-um'. she has the loudest cry that our neighbors get to hear from the top step of our front porch.

there is no leavin this one behind. she is a typical third in that she has no fear. jumps in, all out! she wants to be in on what's happening.

she breaks the mold with the laid-back tendency of a third....i am sure most of that has to do with a brother that's only 14 1/2 months older than her....

she gets us laughing at the dinner table. from crazy eyes to the random quotables!

last night it was that God was speaking to her, saying 'I love you Lucy!' we asked what else he said ..."he wants some ice cream!"

today it was that she had bees in her stomach.

i love that she still sucks her thumb, has a shredded 'silky' that goes everywhere with us, and loves her babydoll to bits!!

there are sweet distinctive personalities between all the tinys, but they are also so similar.

they share passion and strong will which i will continue to say is a God-given strength. It is a challenge to parent thru and direct, but we know that it will add to who they are being shaped into and be one of their greatest qualities!!

Lucy's not going to school this fall . . . 7 or so weeks from now she will be my biggest helper when her baby sister arrives! All other tinys have been home with a sibling and we couldn't be more excited about her sharing this!

her birthday this year was really simple. no big party. just family. we were blessed

lillian and liam started this thing at the beginning of this summer where she sits on the back of his big wheel as he tears down the street, of course he spins out and sees if he can throw her off!!

sweet lillibug .

its such a blessing to watch my girls together. i didn't grow up with a sister...so i really never thought i would have more than one girl..weird..i know...but i just thought i would have one, then a couple of boys...well, nope.

come late october we'll have 3 girls and one lone wolf...

i have loved a front row seat to their relationship. the distance between all 3 of them will almost be exactly the same. help.me.jesus when they are all teenagers...we are already having drama-fest arguments over clothes, hair and shoes...

lucy and her new pink tricycle!!!!

cupcake face!!!

these two are already asking when baby sister can start sharing a room with them...i am quick to remind them that babies cry a lot...nevermind that she's also not here yet!!

andy's mom and dad came for the weekend to celebrate tiny's bday! and we went to jetton park while we had an afternoon house showing.....

my little explorer. with a girl first, the whole boy thing is like having another first child. there is so much that's different. not a whole lot of sitting..a lot of jumping, bouncing, running, chasing, wrestling and curiosity. learning to encourage and trust and let go while not 'hovering' or 'helicoptering' is a delicate balance...especially around water!!