its so hard to be patient. but sweet reward came with this waiting!!
so as I sat on my couch saturday and posted THIS blog post, even after several days of start-stop labor, i had no idea that a handful of hours later we'd be making our way to the hospital to have a baby!!
i definitely woke on that saturday morning discouraged..which prompted some study, alone time and that blog post i mentioned earlier. felt like the Lord gave my heart such sweet comfort and continuing to be patient. That's really what this whole year has been for us . . . waiting, learning to pray thru the waiting without control in any of it.
so in addition to that study time, my sweet friend Meredith sent me an email of encouragement, and attached a video. it was of a woman, giving birth and singing during her contractions.
it was a home birth..you don't actually watch her give birth... its just a few minutes of her singing while her husband plays the guitar...
and...she is singing psalm 23. . . .her voice is amazing, still, calm.
the significance of this for me. . . still leaves me speechless.
i was struck by the worship in the moment of giving birth to new life.
the miraculous blessing that babies are.
the true worship that the moment deserves.
my anxiousness and impatience turned to excitement and peacefulness.
so i put together a worship set list to listen to while we labored and on saturday evening between slicing chicken nuggets and getting tinys to the dinner table, contractions started again.... . . .
so i started singing. yup. it was a little weird. . . but I was making the decision again to go without an epidural so breathing and calm are a huge part of making that succesful. i was amazed at the pain relief when i was singing.
we arrived at the hospital around 945pm. i was skeptical they were gonna keep us. i hadn't had a contraction in 14 minutes. labor is supposed to follow the 'longer, stronger, closer together' contraction pattern. mine clearly was not.
after a walk up to labor and delivery, paperwork and some questions, we were admitted at 1035pm, at 5cm!! The next hour was amazing. I paced our room, earbuds in place, worship music playing; singing.
Andy was on the couch in the delivery room, just two paces away from me, reading.
i could see his journal and bible open. we made eye contact every few minutes or so and exchanged a smile. it contained mutual understanding that this was a moment we'd looked forward to for months. really, for years. i thought back to dating and talking about having a family and how we always saw four little heads around our table!! we wouldn't do this again. . .there was great peace in closing the door to this season of having babies and get about the business of raising them. we were about to welcome our last tiny into the world!!! it was much anticipated and an close to a sweet season that I will never forget.
so as i walked figure eight patterns in the floor one of my favorite songs started playing :: Kari Jobe's 'Singing Over Me'
. . .the words "there is freedom in surrender" and i remember thinking about Mary in labor with Jesus.
Andy and I shared another glance. i thought of Mary hovered near the ground. in pain. in surrender of what was taking place.
there is a song, by Jill Phillips and Andrew Peterson. . . Labor of Love. if you haven't heard it....you need to. it paints this amazing picture of the arrival of Jesus.
i was grateful that my body knew what to do! thankfully it had been here before! at 1130 i was 8cm.
midwife broke my water at 9 1/2 cm! and at 1225am it was time to push!
two contractions later, at 1232am London Elinor Guthe was filling our delivery room with her sweet cry!
Elinor means "my light is God". I am in love with her name.
we've prayed over the arrival of each tiny...and their names.
Lillian Drew means "Purity & Strength"
Liam Jennings "unwavering protector" (fitting now with 3 sisters)
Lucy McKenna " Light, Abundant"
London isn't a family name or have significant meaning. but there is this picture that hangs on our family photo wall. its been there since Lucy was a baby. I bought the frame without paying attention to what was in it. I just needed a black frame and white mat. I had the intention of taking out the photo; until I got home and realized it was sealed from the back....so I hung it anyway. Its the only non-family photo on the wall..well besides a photo of a cross. Its a picture of the tower bridge in London. neither of us have been there; so its been a bit odd that this photo has such a prominent place on our family wall. ...well, when we found out we were pregnant at the beginning of this year, Andy's first words were, "It's a girl, and we should name her London" we had wrestled and prayed through adding to our family and it was like a little hidden secret that she's been a part of us all along!!!