"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body" - Elizabeth Stone
Never is this more true than the morning of Kindergarten drop off.
I wish I could say that with the second child it's easier.
NOPE.
It's almost worse.
Cause they don't know what they're walking into....but you do.
As believers, there is never a more trusting moment and illustration that we are not in control than the slow release of children as they go off to school.
there were moments this summer, even yesterday that I longed for quiet and uninterrupted silence in the middle of meltdowns and chaos of ::
'she took my train'
'he pulled my hair'
'give it back'
'i don't want to eat this'
'you're not my mommy anymore' : a favorite saying of tiny #3.
i even had a meltdown and sobbed after loading them in the car headed to the pool.
i was having pangs of guilt for wanting to run to the nearest forest and hide
and overwhelmed with how fast its going.
so while i still will referee and fix and mend and wipe and hold.
mothering is changing around me.
a sweet reminder that they're borrowed.
i am stewarding a gift.
and those annoying moments where i want to run are supposed to be teaching moments.
we get it right..some of the time.
today.
Liam starts Kindergarten.
Lillian starts Second Grade.
God's timing has blessed my tinys by allowing us to have closure last year and start a new school year here in Fort Mill. Lillian has more awareness of this than Liam. He's just excited about a new school-neighborhood buddy!
we're soaking it in : cause its blurring by
we walk to school . another amazing blessing.
it was a great chance for us to have some sweet out of our environment moments and prepare their hearts for the day.
i held it together after dropping Liam off until I spotted a friend in tears.
i squeeze Lillian's hand.
took a deep breath.
i can do this.
the letting go.
the growing up part.
its part of it.
it will always be hard.
2 comments:
oh i love your sweet & honest mommy heart!! ...& that last picture totally got me. praying for you as you enter a new season :) much love!
Oh Arin,
Thank you for the sweet reminder that we GET TO DO THIS! Yes we get to be mommies to these precious gifts. I am still so grateful to GET TO. The moments will fly by and they will be 20,25,29 and 31. I am so very grateful, thank you Lord Jesus.
Thinking about you and your precious family
Rebecca Parker
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